Gita Verses on Dealing with Difficult People and Enemies

कठिन लोगों और शत्रुओं से व्यवहार

Relationships

How should you treat people who hurt or oppose you? The Gita praises the soul who stays even-minded toward friend and foe alike, free of hatred and ego. These shlokas teach how to handle difficult people with calm strength, equanimity, and compassion.

This guide brings together 6 verses from the Bhagavad Gita on dealing with difficult people and enemies, drawn from chapters 5, 6, 9, 12 and 16.

The Gita's instructions for handling difficult people centre on equanimity — same-mindedness toward friend, foe and the indifferent — without becoming a doormat. You guard your own ground while wishing them well.

  1. अद्वेष्टा सर्वभूतानां मैत्रः करुण एव च।निर्ममो निरहङ्कारः समदुःखसुखः क्षमी॥

    adveṣhṭā sarva-bhūtānāṁ maitraḥ karuṇa eva cha nirmamo nirahankāraḥ sama-duḥkha-sukhaḥ kṣhamī

    He who hates no creature, is friendly and compassionate to all, is free from attachment and egoism, is balanced in pleasure and pain, and is forgiving.

    सब प्राणियोंमें द्वेषभावसे रहित, सबका मित्र (प्रेमी) और दयालु, ममतारहित, अहंकाररहित, सुखदुःखकी प्राप्तिमें सम, क्षमाशील, निरन्तर सन्तुष्ट, योगी, शरीरको वशमें किये हुए, दृढ़ निश्चयवाला? मेरेमें अर्पित मनबुद्धिवाला जो मेरा भक्त है, वह मेरेको प्रिय है।

  2. सुहृन्मित्रार्युदासीनमध्यस्थद्वेष्यबन्धुषु।

    suhṛin-mitrāryudāsīna-madhyastha-dveṣhya-bandhuṣhu sādhuṣhvapi cha pāpeṣhu sama-buddhir viśhiṣhyate

    He who is of the same mind towards the good-hearted, friends, enemies, the indifferent, the neutral, the hateful, the relatives, the righteous, and the unrighteous, excels.

    सुहृद्, मित्र, वैरी, उदासीन, मध्यस्थ, द्वेष्य और सम्बन्धियोंमें तथा साधु-आचरण करनेवालोंमें और पाप-आचरण करनेवालोंमें भी समबुद्धिवाला मनुष्य श्रेष्ठ है।

  3. अहिंसा सत्यमक्रोधस्त्यागः शान्तिरपैशुनम्।दया भूतेष्वलोलुप्त्वं मार्दवं ह्रीरचापलम्॥

    ahinsā satyam akrodhas tyāgaḥ śhāntir apaiśhunam dayā bhūteṣhv aloluptvaṁ mārdavaṁ hrīr achāpalam

    Harmlessness, truth, absence of anger, renunciation, peacefulness, absence of crookedness, compassion for beings, non-covetousness, gentleness, modesty, and absence of fickleness.

    अहिंसा, सत्यभाषण; क्रोध न करना; संसारकी कामनाका त्याग; अन्तःकरणमें राग-द्वेषजनित हलचलका न होना; चुगली न करना; प्राणियोंपर दया करना सांसारिक विषयोंमें न ललचाना; अन्तःकरणकी कोमलता; अकर्तव्य करनेमें लज्जा; चपलताका अभाव।

  4. विद्याविनयसंपन्ने ब्राह्मणे गवि हस्तिनि।

    vidyā-vinaya-sampanne brāhmaṇe gavi hastini śhuni chaiva śhva-pāke cha paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśhinaḥ

    Sages look with an equal eye on a Brahmana endowed with learning and humility, on a cow, an elephant, a dog, and even an outcaste.

    ज्ञानी महापुरुष विद्या-विनययुक्त ब्राह्मणमें और चाण्डालमें तथा गाय, हाथी एवं कुत्तेमें भी समरूप परमात्माको देखनेवाले होते हैं।

  5. यस्मान्नोद्विजते लोको लोकान्नोद्विजते च यः ।

    yasmān nodvijate loko lokān nodvijate ca yaḥ harṣāmarṣa-bhayodvegair mukto yaḥ sa ca me priyaḥ

    He by whom the world is not disturbed and who is not disturbed by the world, who is free from joy, envy, fear and anxiety — he is dear to me.

    जिससे कोई प्राणी उद्विग्न नहीं होता और जो किसी प्राणी से उद्विग्न नहीं होता, तथा जो हर्ष, अमर्ष, भय और उद्वेग से मुक्त है — वह मुझे प्रिय है।

  6. समोऽहं सर्वभूतेषु न मे द्वेष्योऽस्ति न प्रियः।

    samo ’haṁ sarva-bhūteṣhu na me dveṣhyo ’sti na priyaḥ ye bhajanti tu māṁ bhaktyā mayi te teṣhu chāpyaham

    I am the same to all beings; there is none hateful or dear to Me; but those who worship Me with devotion are in Me, and I am also in them.

    मैं सम्पूर्ण प्राणियोंमें समान हूँ। उन प्राणियोंमें न तो कोई मेरा द्वेषी है और न कोई प्रिय है। परन्तु जो भक्तिपूर्वक मेरा भजन करते हैं, वे मेरेमें हैं और मैं उनमें हूँ।

✦ Frequently Asked Questions ✦

What does the Bhagavad Gita say about difficult people?

Krishna teaches that the highest yogi is the same toward friend, foe and the indifferent, and toward the good and the wicked (6.9). Inner equanimity doesn't mean letting harm happen — it means not letting another's difficulty take over your inner climate.

Which Gita verses help with difficult people?

Gita 6.9 (same toward friend and foe), 12.13 (no hatred, friendly to all), 12.18–19 (the dear devotee is equal toward enemies and friends), 16.4 (recognise demonic conduct), and 3.34 (don't be ruled by attraction and aversion) all help.

How do I handle difficult people using the Gita?

Wish them well silently, do what is right, and don't let their state become yours. Where harm is real, protect yourself — equanimity isn't the same as exposure.

Authoritative sources

Official sites of the scriptural traditions and publishing trusts behind the editions and commentaries cited on this page.